omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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