new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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