wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
