It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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