btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
