I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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