i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
