Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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