i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
