you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize