I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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