It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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