Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Randomize
