I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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