what if every blade of grass was a penis?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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