Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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