I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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