He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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