I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
