pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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