Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
