His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
