she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Shame - the story of my life.
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