She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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