What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
