Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
