ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
