Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
