porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
