He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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