I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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