Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
