Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
