Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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