Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
