There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
