He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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