what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
