I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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