Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
