At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Randomize
