even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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