Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
