new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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