hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
