dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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