"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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