her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I stole a fireplace last night.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
