You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
