I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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