ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
