My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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